So I got an inquiry about possibly doing a Roast for Merck Pharmaceuticals.......they found me 'mongst the dregs of the Internet......they wanted many references......so I zapped out a gang Email to former clients and booking agencies....that request appears below followed by unauthorized copies of their respective responses.......[blue and underlined are of course hot links to their site]

Greetings To Sundry Clients and/or Patrons of Comic Genius, Joey Perillo:

I am happy to say that a powerful and influential lady in the brain trust that guides the fortunes of the mega-powerful and influential monosyllabic, pharmaceutical monolith known as Merck has had the good fortune to stumble across my website www.joeyperillo.com and has hence expressed an interest in securing my schtick-services for what they do not know yet will be Large Sums of Their Money.
    They insist, however, on seeing some sort of professional references. To that end I come to you with hat in hand, as it were. Whereas, you have had occasion to hire or cause to be hired the aforementioned comic genius, Joey Perillo, in an entertainment capacity, would you be so kind as to zap of a highly laudatory, wildly inflated yet somehow vaguely credible Email touting my value and virtue as a professional entertainer to Kathy at Merck? In the event you do so and the Merckians go for the bait, I promise to make it worth your while by slipping a portion of the swag over your transom---a promise I will no doubt forget as soon as I cash the Merck check.
(If you hired me and hated me, or I once dated your sister, kindly disregard this message).
    Thank you very much.  But enough about me; how are you, etc..... and when will you be hiring me again?

Joey Perillo
Comic Genius

Before you read them all, here's the result of the Merck gig which I DID get after all.......

Hi Joey!

Thank you so much for a wonderful performance last night!  Marc was completely surprised and thrilled, as was his family!  Lots of people told me what a great time they had and that your performance was brilliant, extremely funny, etc.,etc.
I can completely see why it takes soooo much time to prepare for these events, you did a fabulous job.  Please be sure to include me on your list when someone comes looking for a reference.    kathleen_grilli@merck.com
Again, thanks so much partner, you made my boss a happy guy!
Kathy Grilli

P.S.  Be sure to let me know when you'll be on The Sopranos...of course, now I have to re-order HBO, since I cancelled it after Sex and the City went off :-)

Kathleen,
I want to assure you that Joey is as wildly creative as his e-mail would suggest.   Joey was the "entertainment" for several of our meetings and was absolutely hilarious!
If you need any further feedback on Joey, please feel free to contact me at my office.  (804) 274-2000.
Regards,

Peter Paoli
Philip Morris USA

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Our Company Qyst Automotive had Joey at our holiday party; [the one-man comedy murder mystery starring Joey Perillo] was a big hit and Joey worked very hard to include all of our employees in his production. You will enjoy every minute, we still are talking about the show this year and we had [hired]him in 2005. You will not be sorry if you decide to hire him, even when he is serious, he can make you smile. Have fun!
Sincerely,
Maureen Flick
Office Manager QYST
www.qysttire.com
 

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We have booked Joey Perillo on numerous movie sets, commercials and industrials and have always found him to be a dependable, professional and highly motivated performer. We have also recommended him for numerous corporate 'gigs' and have always heard glowing reviews of his performances.
We can recommend him without reservation.
Thank you,
Sam Gish
PHILADELPHIA CASTING

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[ROAST]
Joey was hired (as a surprise) for my fortieth birthday celebration.  The celebration was held at the Ritz Carlton hotel in Philadelphia and Joey did (as he always does) an absolutely wonderful, thoughtful, and creative performance.[roasting his arse per his lovely wife]
He works diligently on his material and his methods are proven to ensure belly-aching laughter and entertainment.
You will not be sorry.
Enjoy it thoroughly,

Keith Coleman
Co-Owner Hamilton Building Supply Co., Inc.

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I am writing to you at the request of Joey Perillo.  He indicated you desire references on him.
Quite simply, Joey is the best.  He puts his heart and soul into every engagement and always gets great results.  I have worked with him numerous times over the last fifteen years and he has never been a disappointment. To the contrary, he exceeds expectations.  He is funny, quick on his feet and a pleasure to have on the event team.  He always brings spirit, professionalism and talent to the table.
As you can tell, I recommend him highly.

David Sorin
Management Mpowerment Associates
www.managementmpowerment.com

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Over the past several years the McCafferty Auto Group has used the services of Joey Perillo for a variety of different events, from retirement dinners to our company’s 50th Anniversary Celebration.
    Regardless of the number of times I have seen Joey present his schtick, I still leave every event with my cheeks hurting from smiling and laughing.  Each event is as unique as the individual Joey is roasting.  Since every person is different, the whole night takes a different, but hilarious turn.
    Joey has an amazing talent for taking tidbits of information he gathers from speaking briefly to the subject’s peers.  He then weaves an amazing and hysterical tale that leaves his audience doubled over in laughter.
    Retirement parties and the like can be a bore; I was scared to death when I was responsible for planning my first one.  Now when planning such parties, I only have to get the people there and make sure the food is ready - I know I can count on Joey to take care of making sure the night moves smoothly and a great time is had by all.
    I have, and would recommend Joey Perillo to anyone who is planning an event.  The people we recommended him to have all had great events, and have counted on Joey over and over again.

Make your event memorable and easy – call Joey Perillo.

Sincerely,
Todd Buch
President
McCafferty Auto Group

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Joey is a hoot.  I think the fact that "The Sopranos" has hired him (probably so that they can kill him off), is a great recommendation.
However that's not "live" .... Whenever we use him at an event, he slides effortlessly into whatever character we dream up. He has played everyone from Count Dracula to a sleazy game show host. You'll have a great 'whatever' in Joey.  Good luck!

Karen Spiro, Eventologist
EVENTures
234-A Queen Street
Philadelphia, PA 19147 USA

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Kathleen,
We (ConocoPhillips) hired Joey several times over the past few years for both small and large company functions. Besides being a very funny and highly entertaining man, he's easy to work with and charges fair rates.  I strongly recommend him.

Regards,
Jack Pseudonymia
Former Executive with Conoco-Phillips, now at Undisclosed Petroleum Consortium

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Kathy,

Joey was great.We used him at The Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News to entertain employees.  Even used him at a big meeting with bankers at the Four Seasons Hotel in NYC, handling out newspapers and chatting up guests [as an authentic albeit somewhat wizened Philly hometown news-boy. He did a very good job for us.[subsequently at Philadelphia locations as well].

Joe Natoli

PS: Joey, please sent the swag to the usual address...

[Joe Natoli, Former Publisher, Philadelphia Inquirer & Daily News NOW: University of Miami Senior vice president for business and finance and chief financial officer].

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Regional Women’s Health Group, LLC is an outstanding group of approximately 55 Ob/Gyn physicians with over 30 care centers.  The Group was formed in 2000 and in 2005 we celebrated our 5th Anniversary.  At that time we had a dinner celebration and asked Joey Perillo to be our entertainment.  He was fabulous.  He performed a whole skit centered on our group with many of the primary shareholders named throughout.  He had done quite a bit of background so that he would have all the “players” straight.  Everyone in attendance really enjoyed his performance.  We also had a tape made so that anyone unable to attend could enjoy the show.
I highly recommend Joey for a very entertaining event.
Sincerely,
Frank J. Caso
President and CEO

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Tom Derr, Head Honcho of record promotion dynamo Rock Ridge Music www.rockridgemusic.com regarding an amusing video for a major record producer convention in Philadelphia written by and featuring Joey Perillo........."Joey is a natural! We had no worries with regard to delivering our video presentation." He went on and on but I haven't made up what he said yet......check back.......

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Kathleen, I have no doubt that he will make you split your sides, but the laughter will sometimes stick in your throat. This is partially intentional…but partially not. He is a performer who is touched by a kind of genius so savage it makes you consider both the very nature of comedy and what makes us laugh. He has a gift for never breaking character, for submerging himself so deeply into the personas he creates you wonder if the man himself could come up for air even if he wanted to.
Sometimes his humor our laughter makes us uncomfortable enough to wonder why.......
You will also laugh at situations that don't sound funny on the page because of his powerful comic presence. This is a very smart guy with the likeability all comedians have to have, and he is very deft at what he does. In addition to a taste for slapstick, he has a remarkable knack for improvisational response.......
With his corrosive brand of take-no-prisoners humor that scalds on contact, he is the most intentionally provocative comedian since Lenny Bruce and early Richard Pryor.........

Actually, Kathleen, I stole all of the above from a November 2006 piece by Kenneth Turan of the Los Angeles Times regarding Sacha Baron Cohen as "Borat." I thought some of it fit Perillo, too and I am much to busy to think of something myself.

Oh, by the way, Perillo is kinda funny, too.
Sincerely,
Joey’s former (as of this letter) Agent and Entertainment Attorney
JR
p.s.. Seriously, Joey is one of the most talented actors and comedians I know…please call ME for bookings.......
Best regards,

John T. Robertson, Jr., Esquire
Hepburn Willcox Hamilton & Putnam, LLP

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Kathleen,
I highly recommed Joey Perillo, as we have had many wonderful, professional dealings with him, and....[many] very satisfied customers.  He's a professional in every way, and terrific to work with.
Sincerely,
Bob
Bob Egan, Bob Egan Entertainment, Inc.
New Hope - Asbury Park, NJ
www.bobeganentertainment.com

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As producers of corporate tradeshows, live events and business theater, we have used Joey for a number of acting projects and he always does an excellent job. His humor, talent, professionalism and warm heart have contributed to some great projects. He is truly talented, and as important, he understands the world of corporate communications and the professionalism that is required in doing tradeshows, meetings and events.  Not every actor does.
Best regards,
Patricia Nomdeplumia
Managing Producer
Major International Trade Show Producer

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Joey:
I just wanted to tell you what a marvelous time everyone had last night at
our party. You were terrific! Everyone called us today to say how
much fun they had - in fact, you'll be getting a call from one guest, Andy
Rosen, who said he'd like to host a party for his office staff.
  Again, it was great.
Thanks for a great time.

Un-Named Celebrity Radio Host
SomewhereinthebowelsofPennsylvaniathatisNotQuitetheMainLine
 

Dear Joey,
I was very appreciative that you could help us with such short notice, and you were very accommodating. Not only that, but you were professional and very funny.  You made our event memorable and it was a big success.

Christine Bainbridge
Marketing Supervisor
Softmart
Downingtown,PA

Hi guys Just wanted to thank you both again. The event was a great success
and people were talking about it this morning at the synagogue. In fact
I think some people were still walking around in character. Hopefully the
people who weren't there will be sorry they missed it. Our goal is to do it
again next year. You can be
sure I will pass on your number. Thanks again and keep up the fun stuff.
Sincerely,
Lance
TifferethIsraelTemple
Bensalem, PA

Yeah, we see a lot of Joey. Seems to go in cycles. Actually, we've seen his work and can't figure out why we don't see much more of him......go figure.

Reginald J. Finsterflepp
Unemployment Division
Pennsylvania Dept of Labor

Dear Schmuck,

You listen to me and you listen good you scrawny assed half dago actor bastid........If I ever catch you around my daughter again I'll.........

Note to editor: kill this! What is this doing here? I thought we took care of this guy......

Note from editor: What are you worried about.....nobody's  gonna read this far anyways........