ROASTS
roast-(noun)--a
good natured, affectionate ribbing of a friend, co-worker, boss or family
member based on true information culled by a professional. (Do not try
this at home). When successful and unforgettably
memorable roasts are performed by Joey Perillo.
Not
cheap!
(the
roast that is).
Your victim before the roast......
Who:The retiring executive, your boss, your spouse, the blushing bride-to-be (she'll be blushing all right), the tough guy groom-to-be (you did what?), that rat bastid co-worker of yours.......hey, you know who oughta be roasted!
When: retirement
party, award ceremony, significant anniversary, significant birthday, Parole,
Christmas, Hanukkah and
Why: because they deserve it....and they will never forget it....and you will look like a genius......
How: You
get in touch with me. We haggle over the fee. You relent but remain bitter.
I get information from you including phone numbers and Email addresses
of other people who have dirt on the victim. I somehow manage to write
funny stuff from the dreck you give me. I interrupt the dinner or ceremony
or gathering usually representing myself as a policeman or other authority
figure. I single out the poor bast....the loved one. I roast the person
using the info I culled.......victim is alternately ecstatic and mortified.
The room erupts in raucous laughter many times. I finish in 30-50 minutes.
Your friends want my card. You pay me. I pretend to be too professional
to stay and eat with you. I stay.
You become less bitter with time.
Your victim.....after......
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|